Triggers are Opportunities to Heal.
“Emilee… put down the ammunition.”
Those were the exact words my dear friend and mentor said when I called her after a disagreement with my significant other. I was loaded — full of reasons why my tears and anger were justified… why I was “right” and he was “wrong.”
The good news? I’ve practiced the pause enough to walk away and reach out for support before saying something I’d regret.
I’m sure you can relate — that moment when a conversation hits a nerve so deeply that you lash out, only to wish you could rewind it all and take back the hurtful words.
Since that day, I hear her voice every time I feel the urge to react from a triggered place:
“Put down the ammunition.”
Because here’s the truth:
No one can make you feel one way or another.
They can trigger old beliefs, old wounds, old stories — but the reaction is yours.
And triggers, as uncomfortable as they are, are invitations.
Triggers are opportunities to heal.
One of the biggest relationship game-changers in my life has been choosing to view conflict as a moment for growth — a chance to look inward with curiosity before looking outward with blame. When we pause, we can explore not only our own beliefs that got activated, but also the other person’s underlying fears or stories that shaped their reaction
And let’s be honest… the holidays have a way of pushing those triggers right up to the surface. Emotions run high. Old dynamics reappear. And the people we love the most are often the ones who poke the deepest places within us.
And let’s be honest… the holidays have a way of pushing those triggers right up to the surface. Emotions run high. Old dynamics reappear. And the people we love the most are often the ones who poke the deepest places within us.
But here’s something that creates a little more peace:
No one is “right” or “wrong.”
There just… is.
Triggers aren’t about the words spoken — they’re about the emotions and beliefs we attach to those words.
So if you feel triggered this holiday season, let this be your gentle reminder:
Put down your ammunition.
Pause. Step away. Breathe.
And get curious about what’s happening inside you before assuming malintent in someone else.
When you’re ready to re-engage, lean on “I” statements:
“I felt…”
“I interpreted…”
“I needed…”
They open the door.
“You did…”
“You said…”
“You always…”
Those close it instantly.
Steps For More Productive, Tender Conversations
• Awareness — Notice the moment you’re triggered
• The Pause — Step back before reacting
• Release Blame — Choose curiosity over accusation
• Use “I” Statements — Share your inner world instead of attacking theirs
May this season bring you presence, softness, and a little more peace in the spaces that matter most.
