From Victim to Ownership: Reclaiming Your Power
Welcome to Inside Out!
Together, we’ll explore how what happens within (thoughts, feelings, food, emotions) shapes your outer world, and how the outer world (nutrition, exercise, relationships) reflects back.
Each issue weaves science and soul — wellness practices, reflection, and community — to guide you toward balance and peace.
Each issue offers:
Soul → Reflections to guide you inward
Science → Simple, evidence-based wellness tools
Nourishment → Recipes & supplements for everyday vitality
Community → Ways to gather, grow, and feel supported
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Soul:
From Victim to Ownership: Reclaiming Your Power
Have you ever caught yourself replaying a situation over and over, feeling frustrated or unseen — only to realize later that you were stuck in a story your mind created? You’re not alone. We all do it. Recently, I had a conversation that beautifully revealed the difference between being in the story and owning the truth.
When Friendship Meets Coaching
I was on a call with a close friend. Normally, when I talk with friends, I make a conscious effort to just be a friend — to listen, not coach.
But on this particular day, my friend really needed a coach. So I asked,
"This is the work I do when I coach — would you like me to put on my coaching hat?"
She said yes. And that’s when the real work began.
The Weight of Victimhood
She was frustrated, hurt, and helpless. She had gone out of her way to help her brother — made sacrifices, carried emotional weight — yet felt unseen and unappreciated. Deep down, she wanted to be recognized, to be the one who showed up for her family and was valued for it.
When that didn’t happen, she spiraled into blame and self-doubt. Her thoughts looped endlessly:
Why can’t he appreciate me?
Why do I always give and get nothing in return?
It’s not fair — and there’s nothing I can do about it.
That’s the essence of a victim mindset — one that blames external factors for pain and sees oneself as powerless.
And underneath that mindset? Fear.
For her, it was the fear of not being loved if she didn’t help. The fear of losing her brother, even though his habits and values no longer aligned with hers.
Fear keeps us reactive and stuck — trapped in patterns that drain our energy and distort our truth.
The Shift to Ownership
Through our conversation, I guided her to change the lens:
What could she actually control?
How could she reclaim her power?
What belonged to her — and what didn’t?
This is the foundation of an ownership mindset.
Where the victim mindset is reactive and stuck, the ownership mindset is proactive and empowered.
It doesn’t deny pain — it transforms it.
Ownership means taking responsibility, viewing challenges as opportunities for growth, and choosing conscious action over unconscious reaction.
As we talked, we uncovered old patterns — the “kind jester” who gives to be seen, the child who equated love with pleasing others. Slowly, she began separating fact from story: what actually happened versus what she made it mean.
The Relief of Reclaiming Power
Ownership isn’t about pretending everything is fine or bypassing hard feelings.
It’s about:
Recognizing what’s in your control
Letting go of what isn’t
Choosing your response with awareness
By the end of our call, I could see the shift in her energy — her shoulders relaxed, her breath slowed, and her voice softened. There was relief in realizing she didn’t need to change her brother to find peace.
That’s the quiet, radical power of ownership:
The freedom to stop fighting reality — and start reclaiming yourself.
Reflection for You
Think of a situation in your life where you’ve felt frustrated, unseen, or powerless.
Ask yourself:
Am I living in a story, or am I in truth?
Am I reacting from fear, or responding from ownership?
What part of this is mine to change — and what isn’t?
Even one small shift — one question, one breath, one moment of honesty — can move you from victimhood to empowerment.
Because when you step out of the story and into ownership, you don’t just change your mindset — you change your entire experience of life.
Science:
It’s Menopause Awareness Month
Why Injuries & Joint Pain Spike in Menopause
Did you know? Hormonal changes during the menopause transition can make tendons, ligaments, and joints more vulnerable to injury — even in active women.
Frozen shoulder: Women in their 40s–60s are at higher risk. Estrogen loss may make the shoulder capsule stiffer, causing pain and limited movement. I was lucky enough to have not one, but TWO frozen shoulders! I am happy to report that with a double surgical manipulation, and a great PT (Chris Chorak) at Presidio Sport and Medicine, my range of motion is back to 100%.
Tendinopathies: Rotator cuff, gluteal, hamstring, and Achilles tendons can become more prone to irritation or injury, often without a single trauma. I too experienced high hamstring tendonopathy! I don’t leave the gym without doing eccentric single leg hamstring curls!
Slower recovery: Lower estrogen can alter inflammation and reduce tissue repair, meaning injuries may take longer to heal.
Joint pain: Arthralgia (joint aches) is more common, especially in shoulders, hips, knees, and other load-bearing joints.
Collagen changes: Estrogen supports collagen in tendons, ligaments, and cartilage. As levels drop, tissues become less elastic and more susceptible to strain.
Menopause & Injury Prevention: Key Takeaways
Prioritize strength training – Focus on shoulders, hips, glutes, and core to support joints and reduce strain on tendons.
Include recovery strategies – Foam rolling, massage, adequate sleep, and anti-inflammatory nutrition support tissue repair. I personally love the Normatec boots as well!
Listen to your body – Persistent pain, stiffness, or night-time discomfort is a signal to adjust training or consult a professional.
Hormonal awareness – Understanding how estrogen impacts connective tissue can help you plan workouts and recovery intelligently.
Bottom line: Menopause doesn’t mean you need to slow down — it means you need to be smarter, not just harder, about movement and recovery.
Nourishment
Comfort Food for Body & Soul
This past weekend, I hosted some girlfriends for a little self-care + social time: sauna, cold plunge, and of course, soup and salad. Laughter flowed as freely as the conversation, and this soup? Total hit. Bonus: it’s another slow-cooker winner — because easy, delicious, and cozy is always a yes in my book!
Supplement Highlight: FemGuard-HF
Since it’s Menopause Awareness Month, This FemGuard-HF features phytoestrogens genistein and HMRlignan® plus vitamin E to help diminish mild hot flashes with gamma-oryzanol and taurine*.
• Supports menopausal comfort*
• Helps diminish mild hot flashes caused by menopause*
• Supports bone health*
• Supports neurotransmitter and hormonal balance*
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5th Annual Women’s Wellness Retreat
The Year of the Feminine.
Civana Wellness Resort & Spa
February 4–8, 2026
*Spots are filling quickly—reserve yours before we close the circle.
Join us for the 5th Annual Women’s Wellness Retreat: The Year of the Feminine.
This is your invitation to explore what feminine energy truly is—and to honor it, nutritionally, emotionally, and sexually.
We’ll reconnect with the female body not as a project to manage, but as something sacred to nourish, trust, and celebrate. Together, we’ll learn to nourish ourselves on every level—with presence, compassion, and curiosity. You’ll awaken your creativity, your sensuality, and your inner power. You’ll remember who you are beneath the roles and responsibilities.
For four transformational days, you’ll be held, guided, and inspired by myself, Bekah Vandenberg, and Colleen Rue in a space designed for deep connection, laughter, and renewal.
If you’re feeling the pull, trust it—your Year of the Feminine begins now.