The Label Becomes the Lens

Have you ever said something you thought was completely harmless… and watched someone’s reaction stop you in your tracks? A simple comment, a gesture, a tone of voice, suddenly it lands completely differently than you intended.

I sat across from my daughter the other day, talking about experiences from her earlier childhood. While I’ve spent a lot of time interpreting and dissecting my own childhood, it’s sometimes difficult to hear, as a parent, how your child interprets words and actions you intended entirely differently. Tone, context, surroundings, past experiences, and current state of mind all come into play when words are shared or exchanged. Even simple gestures can have impacts beyond belief.

It’s not just childhood where misinterpretation happens, we do it all day long. And it reminded me of a quote I heard a few weeks ago:

“Life doesn’t come with a label, but the one we give it influences the experience we have.”

Before your body reacts, before emotions rise, before stress kicks in, something happens first: you interpret the moment. That interpretation becomes the label and your nervous system responds to that, not the event itself.

Life doesn’t say:

• This is bad.

• This is stressful.

• This is exciting.

• This is unfair.

Those labels come from us. Somewhere between what happens and how we feel about it, we assign a meaning. A story. A label. And that label quietly shapes the entire experience we’re having.

The traffic jam can be a waste of time… or unexpected quiet. 

A hard conversation can be a threat… or an opening. 

A setback can be proof you’re failing… or feedback helping you recalibrate.

Same moment. Different nervous system response. Different outcome.

Your Body Believes the Label

Your brain and body respond not to the event itself, but to your interpretation of it.

When we label something as:

• dangerous

• overwhelming

• unfair

• impossible

…the body contracts. Stress hormones rise. Breathing shortens. We move into protection mode.

When we label something as:

• curious

• workable

• temporary

• informative

…the body softens. We stay creative. We stay relational. We stay open to solutions.

In other words:  

• The label becomes the lens. 

• The lens becomes the experience.

Where This Shows Up in Health

I see this every day in wellness work:

• “I have to work out” versus “I get to move my body.”

• “This cleanse is restrictive” versus “This cleanse is supportive.”

• “My body is broken” versus “My body is communicating.”

The behavior might look the same, but the relationship to it is completely different. One creates resistance. The other creates partnership.

A Small Practice

This week, notice your first label.

When something feels uncomfortable, pause and ask:

• What did I just call this?

• Is that label helping me expand or contract?

• What’s another name I could try on?

You’re not pretending everything is positive. You’re choosing language that keeps you in relationship with life instead of in battle with it.

Sometimes the most powerful shift isn’t changing the situation, it’s changing the story you’re telling about the situation.

I’d love to hear from you:

Remember a moment in the last week when someone’s words or actions surprised you, or when you surprised yourself by how you felt.

Reply and tell me about it, what label did you give it, and how might a different label have changed the experience?

Warmly,